All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
