I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
