Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
