I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
