i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
