saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just high enough for therapy.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
