Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
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