Soap is not a condiment
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize