Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
