is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
