Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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