He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
