the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
