She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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