Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
