we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
