so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
