I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
