I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
