Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
