whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I am one with the molecules
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