you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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