im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
