do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
