you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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