I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
