oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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