Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
