i just made my gag reflex go away.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
