Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
