I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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