I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
