Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
