If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Is it because I queefed?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
