before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
