Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
