GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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