I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
