Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
