oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
