Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
