She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
