Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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