Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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