Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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