why didn't you poke me back
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize