Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
