no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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