If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
