It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize