your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
