is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
