remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize