I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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