If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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