he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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