11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
