very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
