Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
