I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Is it penis luge time yet?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
