is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
