Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
