where am i from again
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize