Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
wow bdsm is so cute
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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