I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
