What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize