The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
