Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
