im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize