ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
